Ten Steins to Bliss
by TheDrabbleOfBlue
Summary: A Ron-Pansy fic set in the Unicorn Hoof continuum. Not to be taken seriously.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and all subsidiary characters.

A/N: This is a little drabble from a dare (I blame you for this one, AmazingGraceless. Hehe)

This one is related to the craziness of Unicorn's Hoof. Enjoy

 **Unicorn's Hoof: Ten steins to bliss**

It was a long week for one Ronald Weasley. On Monday, he received news from Ginny that Hermione's getting married to her old professor in Merlin University, Severus Snape.

Tuesday was the day that he received a letter from Gabrielle ending it with him for one of the Chudley Cannons reserve beaters. He was the one who introduced her to him around three months ago.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday had him clearing up an experiment gone wrong in the Wheezes shop in Diagon Alley. The memories of the giant spaghetti monster that crawled through the alley were still fresh with the smell of basil, tomatoes and parmesan cheese wafting through the cobblestone every now and then.

Saturday has been a Public Relations nightmare and a heavy Ministry fine that cut the prankster's year-end profits to nearly zero.

So here he is on Sunday, signalling to tall and grumpy-looking bartender with jet black hair and a hooked nose for his order.

"A side of fish and chips with," Ron ponders for a moment before he sees the week's special. He reads the words, 'Ten steins to bliss' "I'll have that ten steins to bliss. Is it good?"

With a sneer, the bartender tries and fails to stop a sneer at Ron and mutters, "For you, it's too good at least. Of course it does come with my guarantee that it is the finest set of drinks you will ever get."

An explosion is heard behind the bartender, but he pauses for a moment to get the order of the person beside Ron, before 'encouraging' the culprit behind the smoke.

Ron takes a glance to the person on his left and inwardly he curses, _"In all the pubs in all of London, this pug named Parkinson walks into here and sits beside me."_

Pansy looks at him with the same disdain and mutters, "As if my entire week couldn't get any worse. What are you doing here, weasel?"

"I was trying to get myself hammered into forgetting your pug-face, but here I am seeing you." Ron retorts, seeing their first steins of beer float towards them.

"You aren't exactly Adonis, Tubby Tompkins. Besides, I bet you ten galleons you couldn't beat me in drinking." Pansy chugs down the glass at the same time as Ron.

"You're on, Parkinson."

Three steins in and the nearby patrons already watch the two stare down at each other drinking the next set.

"Getting tired, Parkinson? Want to go home to mommy?" Ron mocks, slamming down his fourth stein on the bar at the same time as Pansy.

"You wish. Go back to that prissy Barbie girl frenchie of yours already."

"Not until you quit and attach yourself like a leech to that pretzel guy."

As those words leave their mouths, they suddenly pause to digest their barbs at each other. Ron slowly takes a piece of fried fish and eats a part of it. He nudges his plate to Pansy, who takes a piece of fish as well.

Ron's eyesight blurs a little bit while locking eyes with Pansy, "Rough week too?"

"Yeah, absolutely horrible," Pansy replies with sorrow dripping from her very words. "I was on my way to the interview for the Daily Prophet when the spaghetti monster came. I got angry at your shop initially, but I realized that if I didn't run away from it, I wouldn't have found out that Theo and Draco were torridly kissing each other behind my back." A sad smile curves her lips and then adds, "I laughed at my spaghetti sauce-covered self after I didn't get the job."

"Just as bad as my week then," Ron raises his fifth stein and raises it up in a toast, chugging it down at the same time with Pansy.

The next four steins are filled with laughter from the Slytherin and the Gryffindor, describing with detail their entire weeks, the music they like, up to the books they've read.

Pansy lets out her frustration at a recent book she read to Ron, holding his firm arm. "Damn it, I'm pissed at how that wizard detective from Chicago sometimes. He reminds me too much of Potter."

"Both have the name Harry, but if we had that guy Bob instead, Harry and I would have better adventures from Hogwarts and a less abrasive well of information." Ron retorts, both of them downing the remaining beer on their respective ninth stein.

They both blearily look at each other, staring their opponent contemplatively. A moment later, their last stein lands beside them. "Before we drink, I'm going to have to say that this is all for me grog."

"Me jolly, jolly grog." Pansy continues and the two share a laugh, as someone could be heard behind the bar adding, "All for me beer and tobacco! Well, I spent all me tin for the lassies drinking gin! Across the western ocean I must wander."

A stinging hex came from the bartender and a yelp follows soon after. Cheers are heard from around the crowd and they continue the ditty. Pansy and Ron toast each other's stein and chug it down.

They share a meaningful glance, grasp each other tightly, and share a rough kiss to the pleasure of the patrons around them.

Ron's last words are, "See you tomorrow, Pansy."

"My pleasure," Pansy replies just as they sway wildly out of their chairs and pass out on the floor.

"Not another one!" Severus exclaims in exasperation, taking another photo for the wall of shame after the ten pints to bliss. "Hermione's going to kill me again!"


End file.
